Post-Altruism

Somewhere along the way a very simple unifying principle finally began to make sense: fulfilling one’s needs. Till now, I had rejected it. Why? Because it went against my prevailing belief in altruism. It seemed “selfish” and wrong. But altruism involves a certain hubris in assuming what is best for others, which is disturbing at best and downright destructive at worst.

I think at the end of the day, we have a whole bunch of values in front of us: responsibility, truth, courage, duty, etc. All philosophy springs from which of these we consider of paramount importance.

• Earlier my ideas were simpler: I wanted to be “nice/kind”, and basically be irreproachable in all respects. Those are what I’d now call my schoolyard ethics. Naive and too simplistic.
• Then came the time responsibility was my ideal: one should take responsibility for oneself and one’s choices and make the best of any and all situations. My late teenage ethics. I went overboard on that one! Not everything and everyone can be controlled and taken responsibility for.
• Another I heard thrown around a lot was courage: “It takes courage to open up to people, to be vulnerable to another, to be open to new things, to face one’s fears.” Here, the implication was that something was the right thing to do because it “required courage”. My temporary young adult ethics. Simply an excuse to do what I wanted to do then.

Having tried all these, I think fulfilling one’s needs is a simple and amoral principle when one needs (ironically) a moral compass. For one, it simplifies my increasingly complicated relationships into simpler, understandable terms. And secondly, it’s all about balance, choice and responsibility. Currently, my preferred set of values.

Failure is nature’s way of saying: “Don’t do that!”

Makes sense. And applies to pretty much everything from academics and hobbies to ethics and relationships.

(My thoughts on) Altruism

There is no such thing as altruism.

It took me quite some time to accept this. For ever so long, I struggled with the idea. I resented it, feeling that now life made even less sense than it already did.

There was a time when altruism was quite an ideal of mine. It directed several of my actions and my views. Naturally, the notion that it does not exist meant a lot of rethinking. It left me with a whole body of thoughts and ideas which no longer had any basis.

On the other hand, the concept of altruism has some glaring holes. Using it as a touchstone to judge the small questions of daily life was rather confusing. Add to the volatile mix quandaries of giving and taking in a relationship, and you can get set for a long and tiring wild-goose chase.

It is the morality of altruism that men have to reject. – Ayn Rand

Now this is venturing into controversial waters, but I have more and more begun to accept this way of thinking. Not quite as boldly as her, but by recognising that no action is purely altruistic. And more importantly, that this is OK!

Okay, so altruism is dead. What then?

(to be continued..)